Cecilia, Stargazing
It gets easier, bearing it.
Not like I’ve got Atlas’ burden, but I was only bones
for six or seven centuries and not malcontent.
The Romans had a knack for architecture
and my catacomb offered certain comfort—dry,
undisturbed.
Pope Paschal had no business rooting around
like a mole, mussing up his vestments,
scraping his elbow in eagerness.
I’d tell you how he cursed but it’s unseemly to gossip
about God’s chosen. I’ve had years to learn this
and other codes I should have known before I died,
being canonized and all.
He christened me Cecilia and so I am.
Patron saint of music by chance or even purpose,
patron saint of virgin brides by design.
I’m not sure what to do with all the prayers
piling to mountains. I never asked for this
and my negligence is a common symptom
of the unqualified.
Such an astral rise from bones to relic, it’s surprising
my spirit didn’t get the bends.
And Paschal missed his calling as a publicist,
how quick he was with backstory and his gift
for invention: tortured to death for the rejection
of my bridegroom, a pagan.
But who of us was not back then, seven hundred years
before the Christian robbed my tomb marked
for Artemis: Callisto.
Claimed now, Heavenbound, I keep
busy unknotting the secrets of my flesh.
A maiden, yes,
but having lived my life for the huntress and her nymph,
I am no martyr.
Phantom blood pulls to the forest and, if given voice, I would growl.
Muscled limbs knew bow and axe better
than any man’s caress and I miss the swift shadows
of beasts more than kisses.
But it’s no use, wishing to be cast out from the canon.
The situation has its perks, an unblocked view
of the constellations and I stare.
Enviable, their dip below the horizon, a rest before
their rise and chase across the sky—unfettered movement.
And Paschal, in his bumbling, stumbled
on a sliver of accurate divine.
Callisto, Ursa Major, Great She-Bear
condemned among the stars
can never leave the sky.